Saw V

Okay, I don't know how the hell I'm supposed to review this movie without giving up anything, but here goes nothing...

The only person worth mentioning that's in this movie is Meagan Good. And lately, she hasn't been showing us the goods. I don't know what happened to her. She used to be kinda hot. Ever since THE GURU, she's been looking kinda frumpy. What's going on?

SAW V is about trying to figure out who the hell else was helping the Jigsaw kill people. Yeah, believe it or not, he's still causing chaos, even though he died in SAW IV, and someone is still helping him carry out his gruesome torture puzzles.

Who is it? How'd they do it? How does this all fit together? Who gives a flying f@ck?

Apparently, we do. What I really love about the Saw series is the sadistic creativity. How do they come up with this evil, demented $hit? What if people start copying? Could they? You gotta admit, as f@cked-up as Jigsaw is, he gives them a choice to live. He gives them a chance. He's like Kevin Spacey in SEVEN. And anyway, aren't all his victims bad guys? Not saying anyone deserves this, but maybe they do. Am I f@cked-up?

You get to see more torture. You get to see more sick, but creative puzzles. You get to see how the Saw movies are all connected. You get to realize that you can't remember what the hell you saw in the previous Saw movies anyway. Blood, gore, and puzzles. It's like porn seeing the same thing over and over, but wanting more. Not that I watch porn. That's what I've heard.

I personally liked this movie. So did my lovely wife. It's kinda cool waiting on the next puzzle and seeing if they'll make it out alive or not. Or maybe we have this terrible desire to see someone get tortured. What's this fascination with blood and gore?

Pretty good movie. Better than all them FRIDAY THE 13TH movies. I give this movie two high heels to your nads and a Ginsu to your Johnson...