Tropic Thunder

Tropic Thunder is about five homophobic guys who went to a theater to bond only to leave a one-seat minimum space between each other.

Oh, wait. Sorry. Wrong movie. That was HIGHLANDS TROJAN MEN coming this summer.

And now for our feature presentation...


"I'll cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, work the pipes, and swallow the gravy..."

"You paying attention? I'm talking.....G5, Pecker! That's how you can roll. No more frequent flyer bitch miles for my boy! Oh yeah! Playa....playa! Big dick playa!"
"Swinging past ya knees!"

"When you wrote 'I Love Tha Pussy', was you thinking about danglin your dice on Lance's forehead?"

"It's 'viet cong.' There's no 's,' it's already plural. You wouldn't say 'Chineses...'"


Okay, so you had to be there. And maybe you have to be male, but this movie was F@CKIN' HILARIOUS!! I'm talking laughing-so-hard-you're-crying hilarious. This movie is the most quotable movie since, dare I say, PREDATOR?

And everyone had their share of lines, too. In fact, there were so many clever lines, you gotta go and probably buy the DVD to hear 'em all. It was so funny, that if you laugh, you probably miss about a couple more jokes in the process. It was that kinda movie.

Basically, this movie is about five actors and how they end up being in a real war zone when they were just supposed to be "filming" a war movie. It's a movie that mocks Hollywood and its stereotypical actors. It just so happens that this movie IS actually packed with star power. Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Tom Cruise, Nick Nolte, and the guy who pretty much stole the movie, Robert Downey, Jr.

Having that many quality actors instead of Leslie Nielsen is probably why this movie was "witty" funny as opposed to just being a lame-a$$ comedy spoof. They must've had fun trying to outdo each other on every take. Imagine having to act serious at being funny. That's no easy task, my friends. I do it every day.

You had the Academy Award-winning actor. You had the blockbuster action star. You had the goofball comedy actor. You had the stereotypical Black hip-hop rapper/actor. You had some teenage nerdy guy who-we-all-knew-but-couldn't-figure-out-who-he-was actor. I'm not telling who played who. Gotta go see it.

This movie had too many funny parts to choose from, so I'll just give my guarantee to go and watch and enjoy it. DARK KNIGHT? Can't miss! TROPIC THUNDER? Guaranteed to please!! Like a Vietnamese buy-me-drinkie hooker!!

Seeing Robert Downey, Jr play a Black guy and hearing Tom Cruise say "F@CK!!" every other word was worth the ridiculous price of admission. Seriously, YOU GOTTA SEE THIS MOVIE!!

I give this movie two full retards swallowing each others' gravy. And I somehow mean that in a good way. Looking for pure, lighthearted entertainment and a great laugh? WATCH THIS MOVIE, YOU FULL VIET CONG RETARD!!

Step Up 2: The Streets

Guess what we watched today after our Ice Palace field trip? You think I would waste my time watching this crap? I do it all for the kids. Anything for them.

Ebony: "Yo, man!! Don't be disrespectin' me and my crew like dat ever again, punk!!"

Ivory: "What's with all the hostility? Stop the violence! Let's take it around the corner, merge onto the Pacific Coast Highway, take the next cutoff heading in a southeasterly direction, and after approximately 2.4 miles, LET'S TAKE IT TO THE STREETS!!"


Man, I think I've seen this movie before. It was called STOMP THE YARD.

Wait, my bad. It was actually YOU'VE GOT SERVED.

No, no. What was I thinking? The movie was BREAKIN' 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

Sorry. I was just joking. It was the movie FAME.

Damn it!! I think the movie was for real called SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER.

No. Wait a minute. It was actually on TV. The show was called SOLID GOLD.

Come again? I'm going mento. The show was SOUL TRAIN.

Okay, stop playing already. I've got it for real. Seriously, the movie was called MERRIE MONARCH.


Take the cast from REVENGE OF THE NERDS. Make sure they're attending the gifted school at FAME. They gotta be able to dance like AMERICA'S BEST DANCE CREW. Apply the theme from SAVE THE LAST DANCE. Find an empty warehouse like in every Black dance movie so they can battle. And there you have it. STEP UP 2: THE STREETS!! Yeah, booooeeeeeyyyy!!!!

Nah, seriously though, the dancing was off the hizzle fo' shizzle my nizzle!! Can't believe I'm saying this, but this dance movie was the best dance movie I've ever seen. Seriously. Even better than STRICTLY BALLROOM. A million times better!

If dancing is your thing, this definitely is the movie for you. If cheesy plot lines tickle your fancy, buy this DVD now.

Watching all these misfit dancers was like watching Duke Aiona at McCain's campaign rally. It was like watching a Black guy ice skate. (Actually, I kinda witnessed that today for the first time ever on our Hui Popolo bonding field trip.) It was like watching a Hawaiian work. It was like watching an Asian guy in porn.

Nah, these guys could really dance. They just looked like they wouldn't be able to. Remember Kevin Bacon in THE AIR UP THERE? Yup, those days are over. Now, they got actors who can act AND physically perform their moves. I was pretty impressed. Like I'm f@ckin' MC Hammer. What the hell do I know?

Awesome dance movie. Pretty good movie overall. I give this movie two lapdances from the Pussycat Dolls...