Teeth

Remember now, I'm on a cult horror flick kick. The more outrageous the movie, the better. Blame my lovely wife for buying me the awesome Roku for Xmas. That's like buying porn for a sex addict. Come to think of it, that'd probably be a good gift, too.

TEETH is about this Mormonish virgin (not saying that's bad, just comparing) chick who has sharp JAWS-teeth in her vajayjay. Yeah, that's right. I'm not making this $hit up.

She doesn't want to have sex, so it's not like it's attacking the neighborhood or anything. Just horny boys trying to de-virginize her, which, of course, try. Once she gets invaded, she plays the revenge game, manipulating some guys to deflower her Venus flytrap just so that she can teach 'em a lesson.

Her and her step-brother have this weird incestual vibe going on. The brother's banging his girlfriend at home, while she's trying to stay pure and innocent. At least at the beginning.

The soundtrack from this movie was stolen from Afterglow, this Mormon Christian-poppish group. Okay, I made that up, but it sure sounded like it. All the songs were chastity-related. Again, not a bad thing, just funny and fitting to the story.

I don't know if the director of this movie meant to be funny, spooky, disturbing, or send a message of abstinence or man-hating promiscuity. All I know was that this movie was kinda strange in a likeable way. Beautiful thought it was stupid, but she still watched it. It was like watching a car accident. A dirty hot rod ramming into a pure White mini Cooper...with sharp spikes sticking out of its trunk...

Light, strange, semi-enjoyable movie if that's your cup of tea. I'm sort of experimenting in this genre lately. I give this movie two bloody balls left after you get your eel chomped off by a piranha punani...