Gran Torino

Starring: Clint Eastwood and a bunch of Gooks

First and foremost, let me just say that this was a good movie. Great movie, even. But, awesome? I don't know about that. We thought it may have been a tiny bit overhyped. We liked it though, nonetheless. We'd put it up there with SEVEN POUNDS.

GRAN TORINO is about this grisly, grumpy, pretty-much-racist Korean War vet who lives among Hmong people. He actually lives alone in his house since his wife died and his kids and grandkids just ignore him, unless they want something from him, but the Asians have surrounded him and taken over the neighborhood. The usual gangs and no-manners kids permeate the neighborhood and he literally growls at the deterioration of society. All he wants is a clean lawn and everyone to stay off of it.

The movie starts slow, but then gets entertaining as Walt (Eastwood) befriends this helpless kid next door who's being bullied by his cousins. Soon, everyone realizes that behind his gruff exterior lies a heart of gold. He teaches the boy to be a man and mingles with the boy's sister and family. Trouble lurks behind the Great yellow Wall though. That's all I'll reveal.

Let's just say that the heart of the movie is in its over-the-top, racist, but funny dialogue. Eastwood spews it out like someone who's been really thinking it his whole life. We were dying listening to him. His raspy, Christian-Bale-as-THE-DARK-KNIGHT delivery was cracking us up. If you watch the credits at the end, you'll hear him singing, I think. Sounded like him.

Also, you get to see DIRTY HARRY reborn with his tough attitude whupping some wanksta a$$. Don't mess with this septuagenarian!! Eastwood can act. That guy's a legend. Who Hmong us can act? Nobody. The brother/sister soy sauce combo were killing me, but then I just pretended I was watching a kung fu movie and it was fine.

I've never really heard of Hmongs until I watched this movie. Learn something new every day. The girl in the movie was cracking me up with her sass. Eastwood's interaction with her and her brother were priceless.

As for the Gran Torino, you'll find out. Definitely go watch this movie. It's kinda like MILLION DOLLAR BABY where you like the acting and the story, but may find it slow if drama is not your thing. Great movie. I don't know if it was meant to be a comedy, but we were laughing throughout. I give this movie two yellow, slant-eyed, rice-packing, algebra-studying Gooks trying to reach an old, shriveled, saggy, diaper-wearing, 'aina-stealing, cracker White guy...