Slumdog Millionaire

Starring: that Indian dude from SHORT CIRCUIT ("Johnny Five is alive!!)...nah, just kidding. A whole truckload of Indian people, including hottie Freida Pinto (who'll probably be in demand after this movie...)

Holy sippin' slurpees from 7-11!! This movie is f@ckin' AWESOME!! Best Picture of the Year, it better be.

You know, I don't know if I've just become more mature with my movie picks or the Academy has gotten better with their choices, but remember when you were little and you tried to watch some Best Picture flick and it sucked a$$? Well, that's how it used to be for me. But ever since they started choosing some real kick a$$ movies like BRAVEHEART, I've kinda trusted them. CRASH, MILLION DOLLAR BABY, NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN. These movies were not only critically-acclaimed, but entertaining as well.

Anyway, SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE is this damn good original movie about this kid who, believe it or not, ends up going on the hit show WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE? and is pretty much accused of cheating. As they try to find out the truth about his cheating, he recounts all of his childhood experiences. This is the bread and butter of the movie. I'm actually surprised Beautiful didn't end up bawling. Weird. I think she feels no sympathy for anybody who's Gandhi ever since Sharma graced us with his presence.

There, that's it. To tell you guys more would ruin this masterpiece of a movie. I know it doesn't sound all that intriguing, but give it a chance, I guarantee you won't be disappointed. The daring, original premise of this movie alone had me thinking about how creative the human mind can be. For some reason, I'm getting GOOD WILL HUNTING crossed with ONCE WERE WARRIORS even though it's really neither. That's just the vibe I was getting as I watched.

This movie has the intrigue. It has the sickening tragedy. It has the underdog theme. And underneath it all lies the ever-so-universal love and romance theme. This movie has it all, baby!! No bull$hitting either. You know that feeling you had when you saw CRASH or MILLION DOLLAR BABY where you were just like, "Wow! What a well-crafted movie..."? That's what I kept thinking afterwards. Pure genius. It's movies like this that keep me watching movies. What the f@ck am I saying? I'll watch anything.

Anyway, great f@ckin' movie!! If I could recommend only one movie (or you could only watch one movie on the account of you only being on the one-movie-at-a-time Netflix plan), you should definitely watch this. Best Picture. Can't go wrong. You'll be amazed. Unless I overhyped it already. Did I mention that the main girl is kinda hot? I hope she's of age or I'm a perv.

I give this movie two billion Indians looking to technologically dominate the world in a few years according to that lame video with African music that we've seen too many times. I'm gonna get me a slurpee...

Do it. You know you want to. Buy a slurpee. Put a red dot on your forehead. Now, pop in the DVD and enjoy...

And then, do some Kama Sutra for the after-party...

Jai Ho, bitches!!