New Moon

THE UGLY TRUTH - My kinda movie. Romantic comedy that brutally talks about relationship truths. Men are from Mars, Girls are from their anus. We really enjoyed this one. Katherine Heigl is attractive in a whole-package kinda way. Gerard Butler is one cool dude. He's like the White Will Smith. His character was classic. Similar to HITCH now that I think of it. Kinda. Although the movie's pretty predictable, the ride's still pretty entertaining and fun. Great date movie. Great date with the Wifey...

BRUNO - Like BORAT, but believe it or not, more crudeness and awkwardly funny sex scenes. The guy's a genius. Really pushes the envelope of comedy. Gotta really wonder how real it is. Basically, fun to watch because the joke's really on the people that are actually in the movie. Found myself cracking up throughout. How does he not get his a$$ kicked?

STAR TREK - This ain't yo Daddy's Star Trek!! Really? But, did you see STAR WARS? Then, you've seen this movie, too...

NEW MOON - First of all, the movie wasn't that bad. Was it as good as the first one? About the same, I guess. Menage a trois romance gift-wrapped in some bestiality action. Entertaining enough, I suppose. What I couldn't stand about the movie was the cheesy, breathy dialogue. You know when actors try doing that sexy voice all breathing down each other's necks like that's supposed to project passion and restraint all rolled into one? I find that ridiculously funny most of the time. Who talks like that? They don't even do that in porn. Or so I've heard. Every scene with that slut and either guy reminded me of every Queen Amidala/Anakin Skywalker scene in ATTACK OF THE CLONES. The writer should be shot. Also, the Cullens' dad looks like Corey Feldman and Tom Cruise's love child. And also, my wife's a perv for checking out that underaged lupine. And furthermore, the real appeal of the TWILIGHT series is that all girls want to have two guys at the same time. And finally, a Mormon had to write these books 'cause only they could understand the yearning and longing associated with not ooofing and the implications of polygamy...

DISTRICT B13 - Some ignorant, illiterate guy who works with delinquents at our school recommended this to me and it was surprisingly pretty damn good. I was impressed. And, the movie wasn't that long either. If you took Matt Damon from the BOURNE series and taught him some Jackie Chan street stunts, you'd get an idea of the stylized action in this film. Amazing stuff. Felt like I was watching ONG BAK with French guys in it. Even the story was pretty original. Could see them really doing this kinda sketchy stuff in the future. They should do it now. Drop a bomb on certain areas to save everybody else. It was like a kung fu movie with no Asians. I guess it was like a better Steven Seagal movie with graceful runners...


Wow. Been watching some damn good movies lately. Think I got Netflix all figured out. Gotta keep 'em coming. That's what she said...