P2

Starring: some White girl whose boobs were actually a helluva lot bigger than they first appeared and that creepy dude from AMERICAN BEAUTY who had a flying paper bag fetish

P2!! Woohahahaha!! That's my scary voice, by the way...

P2 is this surprisingly pretty good horror B-movie set in a parking garage. You know, the floor two floors below the lobby, P2? For some reason, as I was watching this movie, I kept thinking about that SEINFELD episode where they can't find their car. When I go to the doctor's, I always park on P1. Just letting you get a glimpse of my life.

Anyway, P2 is about this milky White undercover-boobed chick who gets stuck at work during the Xmas/New Year season. She's kind of a workaholic who's the last one to leave the office making small talk with your usual parking garage/office building security guards on the way out. There's one little problem though...THERE IS NO WAY OUT!!! WOOHAHAHAHA!!!

The movie actually starts off slow, and I thought I was headed for a little disappointment, but trust me, it has some "Holy $hit!" moments to spare. I actually liked the slow set-up now that I think of it. Kinda clever. Makes you feel like you're at work on a normal day going to retrieve your soon-to-be-stalled car from an isolated, dark, creepy parking structure.

You know that she's stuck. You know who's going to be the bad guy. You think you know all the cliched horrible things that are going to happen to her, but you're going to be wrong. You'll still be shocked. You'll still jump in your seat a little. You'll still be amazed at how much you actually are enjoying this movie. Beautiful and I just ate it all up.

I think the appeal of this movie was the fact that this could possibly happen to anyone, especially nowadays. Everyone's been in a parking structure alone and thought, "Whoa, little scary in here..." I'm sure girls everywhere can definitely relate. Keys out all in your knuckles and $hit.

Also, the villain is your creepy bad-date-gone-wrong stalkerish type. Maybe you'd rather be dead than have to be subjected to his calm, semi-pervy weirdness. You think you could easily kick his a$$, but his violent spontaneity makes you think twice.

Considering the overdone SAW crap they've been releasing lately, this movie was pretty good. Back to your good old-fashioned use of suspense. We were thoroughly entertained the entire way. I give this movie two minutes in an abandoned car...bouncing up and down...windows all fogging up...working the shocks...moaning and screaming...do you check up on it? Murder or rape? Consensual sex? P2? Hmmm...