Twilight

Hey, give me a burger, extra mayo, but hold the...

Whoa, Greg (at faculty mtg yesterday), you want some nachos with your...

Man, it stinks in here!! Who squeezed the...

Alright, we're going to take a picture. 1, 2, 3, say...

Once you get over the cheese whiz, I actually thought that TWILIGHT was pretty good. I think it's better that I didn't read the books 'cause I had a greater appreciation for the characters and story instead of spending the whole movie comparing between the two. Not bad at all for a teeny-bopper love-story chick-flick.


As I was watching the movie, I came up with my very own keen observations/questions:

1) Were you girls drooling over this guy when he was in HARRY POTTER?
2) Doesn't Edward look like EDWARD SCISSORHANDS?
3) Is it me or did the dad look exactly like Corey Feldman and Tom Cruise's love child?
4) The Cullen sisters were kinda hot!
5) Do you have to be Indian to be a werewolf?
6) How come Asian guys in the movies gotta be all goofy and/or head of the GT clique?
7) Did you know that Blackula was the Mormon doctor guy in HOUSE?  (Props to my lovely wife for that one...)
8) I liked that Bella wasn't too pretty.
9) The baseball part was the best part to me.
10) I didn't feel the vibe between Bella and DANCES WITH WOLVES.


I understand clearly why all you bloodsuckin' girls like the Twilight books.  It's the longing.  The yearning.  The forbidden love.  The desire.  The forever bad boy.  The I-wanna-ooof-him-but-it-could-get-outta-control fantasy.  You gals like the whole he-can't-control-himself-but-he's-trying thing going on with Edward.  It's like he's respectful, so he's earned the right to violate you cocktease-contradiction thing you girls like to pull on guys for your own pleasure.  It's like, yeah, you want us to see your ta-tas, but hey, don't stare, you perv!!  Girls are from Mars, guys are in your anus.

Seriously, though, pretty good movie.  Guess I have to wait for the whole bestiality love triangle to develop in the sequel, but so far, it kinda held my interest.  I give this movie two distinct sexual fantasies slyly hidden in one cheesy love story written by a naughty Mormon girl who cleverly avoided being excommunicated...