Hancock

Got your handCOCK right here!!

Okay, jokes aside, let me just say that I really like Will Smith in a non-homo way. In my mind, he's like the Jordan of movies right now. Whatever he's in is money. It'll be an excellent, entertaining movie that has everything (action, drama, comedy) in it.

That being said, I couldn't figure out why no one saw HANCOCK. The premise seemed original. A flawed superhero trying to better his public image. The possible situations and jokes seemed limitless. Especially since IRON MAN, THE DARK KNIGHT, THE INCREDIBLE HULK, not to mention SPIDER MAN and X-MEN were oversaturating our blockbuster summers. I thought everyone would be flocking to see Smith's latest endeavor.

The movie stared off fine and dandy. He's saving the world, but f@cking up by leaving behind a lot of property damage and injuries. Charlize Theron is in the movie looking hot as ever and Jason Bateman, Hancock's PR guy, was clever and funny as the everyman trying to repair Hancock's image. You get the whole Hancock saving the world by being a good guy awkward thing going on. It's pretty funny. It's kinda like those reality charm school shows where the hootchies gotta manner-up and be all ladylike and $hit even though they're all ghetto titas. You see the transformation.

BUT THEN...

Halfway through the movie, without warning, the story inexplicably changes gears and heads in another $hitbird direction. What the hell??!! I can't even tell you what happened. I DON'T want to tell you what happened. Talk about a rally killer. Talk about blue balls. Talk about a Handcock-tease!! Where the hell did this come from? It's like they just ran out of ideas and needed to fill in some time and went with the craziest idea possible. I was shocked!!

Will Smith. Charlize Theron. How the hell can these two let this happen? This is when I realized WHY people didn't go and see this movie. I'd have to put this up there with WILD WILD WEST.

Still though, more entertaining than most movies. Just not up to par with the Fresh Prince's usual standards. I give this movie two Bangkoks and a punani ping-pong hurling prostitute...