Awake

This movie is about Jessica Alba, the greatest actress of our generation, c@ck-teasing us once again, but not giving it up. She shows us some left nipple through her wet T-shirt. She shows us some side-boob action from the back. She shows us her naked back and lots of leg, but we never get to see paydirt. Why the f@ck does she continue to waste her talents like that? She even kinda ooofs in this movie...with her clothes on!! WHAT THE F@CK??!!

She needs to follow the examples of Halle Berry, Charlize Theron, and Angelina Jolie. These three women are beautiful and classy AND GOT BUCK-NAKED in their movies AND STILL won academy awards. Julia Roberts on the other hand...successful career and all, but too late to take off her clothes...no academy awards. Seems pretty simple to me. Jessica Alba gotta get down and dirty and pornoish in some MONSTER'S BALL type of movie and she'll gain more respect from her fans and her peers. I should be her agent.

Back to the movie...

AWAKE is about this rich guy (Hayden Christensen) who needs a heart transplant and, for some reason, also is hiding the fact that he's in love with Alba from his mom. Why the hell would you go out with her and NOT show her off to EVERYBODY? This movie's fake.

Anyway, during his surgery, his anesthesia doesn't work, and he's awake for the whole operation. Apparently, this happens at times in real life, too. Scary, huh. His doctor and friend (Terrence Howard) doesn't even know that he's awake 'cause he's paralyzed, but can't say $hit. That's all I can tell you.

Terrence Howard is good in everything he's in. Hayden Christensen Anakin Skywalkered his way through this entire movie. Jessica Alba, despite the slutty, whorish teasing, actually did a great job acting this time. Seriously. You'll see. I notice she always tries to play the sweet girlfriend with the potty-mouth character. She might as well go full-dirty and strip for us. Give us more bang for our buck. Or more buck for our bang. Either way.

In the end, I actually liked the movie. You'll see. I'm not saying it was the greatest movie of all time, but I will say that it's gotta be Jessica Alba's best movie to date. Has she made any good movies? See, gotta get nasty, I'm telling you. She's only getting older. Not like her acting skills is getting her the plum roles anyway. Even her own momma wants to see her get naked.

If you want a light movie with some pretty good suspense, and you wanna torture yourself and give yourself blue balls, watch this movie. If anything, you'll walk away with an idea of the potential of what Jessica Alba could be...if she took off more clothes. I give this movie two balls of blue, and if you're a girl, two fingertips, but not the whole hand...