Little Children

Before I review this movie, let me preface it by saying that my Baby and I are, for some reason, attracted to movies that have dysfunctional characters. Now that I think of it, you guys probably know why we're attracted to these types of movies. Shut the f@ck up! Don't say it! Let's move on.

This movie is about dysfunctional suburbanites. That's it. Cut and dried. You get to observe 4 people's lives play out and intertwine and affect all the other "innocent" people in seemingly perfect suburbia. I guess I'm always attracted to these movies because of the graphic "realness" that it portrays. It always makes me think that behind every friendly smile, firm handshake, or perfect-looking family lurks a bunch of skeletons dying to come out of the closet. I don't know if you can be a lurking, dying skeleton, but ignoring the accuracy of my f@cked-up idiom, you know what I mean.

Kate Winslett plays the young, unhappily-married mom who takes care of her daughter more out of a sense of duty than love. Her husband's addicted to work and porn. There's the "prom king" who's unhappily-married to Jennifer Connelly (how is that possible?) and takes care of their son full-time because he refuses to grow up and put any effort into passing the bar exam. There's an ex-cop guy who's removed from the force because of one bad decision. And finally, there's the required child molester/sexual pervert character that any movie about dysfunction must have played by, of all people, the kick-a$$, rebel kid from the original Bad News Bears movie.

I think Kate Winslett got nominated for an Oscar for her role, and as I was watching her ooof crazily in the movie, I wondered why people are so down on her. Remember when Titanic came out and everybody and their mother was talking about how she was such a fatty? I don't think she's fat. I think she has a normal, healthy body. I mean, she's not hot or anything, but she's definitely not fugly either. Funny thing is, the more naked she got, the more I was able to recognize her strengths. Why can't we all just focus on her acting abilities like I do with Jessica Alba? You shallow bastards! More substance, less style.

Anyway, we thoroughly enjoyed this movie. It was definitely engaging in a way that American Beauty kinda kept your attention. Maybe when I see these weird characters on film, I start feeling better about myself. Maybe I start to feel more forgiving of people 'cause you never know what drove people to be how they are. Maybe there are no bad people, just bad, $hitty-a$$ decisions.

Watch this movie. The critics liked it, and so did Beautiful and I. This is the kinda movie where when you watch it, you kinda feel more like an adult and you know, a little more intelligent because you actually watched it instead of Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift.

Good movie. Really. Unless you find yourself being disturbed by dysfunction in all its glory. I give this movie two Michael Jacksons and an R. Kelly...